She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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