Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
