I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
