Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
