idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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