I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
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So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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