I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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