i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize