kristin has been a bad kristin
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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