I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize