guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize