Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
