Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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