What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
