i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
vagina is talking i cant
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery