:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.