i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
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I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
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i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..