4 words: hood of his car
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
