i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
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It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
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I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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