Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
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we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
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Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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