Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
