It's Friday. Sex?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
