Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.