My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.