Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
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ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
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This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.