you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize