Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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