I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
