3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
