I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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