He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
