Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Text me some of your sweat
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize