This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
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We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
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Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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