is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
