...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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