Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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