First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
