My liver just broke up with me...
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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