lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
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It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
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Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
he just fucked me for my cheese.