are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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