so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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