It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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