I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
