Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
