So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Randomize
