Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?

(313): View more from Michigan

YES

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(586): If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct? (313): YES http://tfl.nu/udyu

Replies (14) Good night (2362) Bad night (646)
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(212): View more from New York

so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."

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(212): so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to." http://tfl.nu/pyn2

Replies (16) Good night (734) Bad night (1525)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.

(763): View more from Minnesota

ew wtf

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(218): Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed. (763): ew wtf http://tfl.nu/st4c

Replies (83) Good night (1579) Bad night (8475)
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(631): View more from New York

It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.

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(631): It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom. http://tfl.nu/aix7

Replies (48) Good night (6569) Bad night (1999)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.

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(215): It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis. http://tfl.nu/bygw

Replies (14) Good night (1415) Bad night (5664)
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(207): View more from Maine

Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........

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(207): Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010"......... http://tfl.nu/3k58

Replies (7) Good night (874) Bad night (2794)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

they paper machayed me.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.

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(484): they paper machayed me. (215): i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers. http://tfl.nu/kseh

Replies (5) Good night (3434) Bad night (672)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it

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(503): Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it http://tfl.nu/r81k

Replies (14) Good night (3423) Bad night (689)
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(970): View more from Colorado

The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.

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(970): The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad. http://tfl.nu/lkeb

Replies (4) Good night (1098) Bad night (819)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus

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(832): i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus http://tfl.nu/kvpc

Replies (2) Good night (1693) Bad night (660)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.

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(832): He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass. http://tfl.nu/my94

Replies (14) Good night (679) Bad night (1154)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay

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(330): I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay http://tfl.nu/przh

Replies (4) Good night (418) Bad night (476)
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(602): View more from Arizona

Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.

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(602): Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over. http://tfl.nu/lmyw

Replies (4) Good night (1162) Bad night (348)
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(224): View more from Illinois

He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.

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(224): He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how. http://tfl.nu/e26b

Replies (2) Good night (965) Bad night (301)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20

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(203): I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20 http://tfl.nu/grr6

Replies (0) Good night (470) Bad night (291)

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