I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok