you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.