I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
