It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
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Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
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Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize