Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
