i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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