Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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