If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just gift wrapped bread.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
