How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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