Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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