Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize